Dia lagi kuat dari aku.

ok,

Lets make it short, simple, straight and fact.

Macam ni, aku namakan dia Pathma. Because i heard nurses call her with that name.
A young lady, indian, diagnosed kidney problem. (Nefro Ward~of course ler kan.)

My first time saw her lay down on the dialysis chair with a scary pose and look. Tehee..
That time, terus curi-curi snap. Dalam hati rasa macam terkejut, and rasa nak tergelak.
Nak pegi amik air panas pon macam tak berani. hew hew hew. Gile aku!
I guess she need a aircond, sejuk. Sebab area tu memang dapat rasa aircond.

Then, next day. My MOM bed need to transfer to the another place. (area orang tengok tv, wad full to the max). She (Pathma) slept over there. From that, i try to b a friendly. She look weird. Really. Sebab dia korek-korek batu yang dalam pasu bunga plastik. (u guys tahu x. Batu kecik mcm batu sungai color putih orang letak dalam pasu jernih then cucuk bunga plastik?) i was like WHATTTT? Staring at her while pretending that im not. Scary ok...kang kena cepuk naya je. Lagi mengerikan tengok dia gigit batu tu. hahahaha LOL. Dah kenapa? i told to nurses there. And nurses asked her why she ate that stone. She slumber said, NO. THIS IS A GULA BATU!! hahahahaha

After a few hours, Pathma ni punya lah peramah..merapu lah cakap itu ini. Makan tak sedap lah, boring lah. i was told by her; hospital is her 1st house. Plan to go to JPN, sebab nak tukar address IC. hehehe....i was laughing while having a chat with her. Kelakauuu nak mam...Dia stay kat spital tu almost 3-4 bulan. kadang-kadang terpaksa melarikan diri. HOMESICK maybe. :'( tapi tak lama, after few days mesti kena datang spital. Sesak nafas. (Dia sendiri make confession)

Malam je dia mengerang, sakit. Panas. Gatal. Hmmmm..kesian sangat. Kalau time elok, tak duduk diam. merayau pegi katil kawan dia. since she claimed that she is KETUA KAMPUNG kat wad tu. hahaha..Sampai nurses kena jerit panggil nama dia nak cucuk ubat. baru dia keluar, get back to her bed. Itu lah dia Pathma. Nampak dia macam busuk, nurses bebel suruh dia mandi. Dia cakap, kejap lagi saya mandi..betol-betol punya mandi.. hahaa (Dia x boleh mandi, sebab kat perot dia ada Tenckhoff). Terus nurses jerit, jangan Pathma..then we all sama-sama gelak..!

Bila dia tengah masuk ubat, aku sembang-sembang dengan dia. Rupanya dia sebaya aku. 31 tahun, dah kahwin and ada 2 orang anak perempuan yang dah besar. Asalnya dia ada darah tinggi. Lepas tu ada masalah buah pinggang. Then sesak nafas semua. Ezcema lagi. Tunjuk kaki dia dah kering, kuku kaki dia pon dah pecah and hitam. Dia keluarkan 1 album dari drawer tepi katil dia. Tunjuk picture lama dia yang masih sihat. Masa tu memang dia "SIHAT" pon. Lain sangat muka dia. Gemok sama macam aku. Gambar dia senyum, sejenis yang happy go lucky. Dia cerita pasal kakak dia, paksa dia botak rambut sebab dia ada kutu. Masa tu umur dia 10tahun. Dia sampai anti gile dengan kedai yang botakkan rambut dia..hahaha..cerita sambil gelak. Pastu dia cakap..punya laa malu..dalam rumah pon pakai topi. Bila sedara-mara dtg tanya apesal pakai topi..dia cakap panas (matahari). hehehe..cute!!

Bersungguh cerita sambil show me the album.

Pathma, kalau lah kau ko baca ape yang aku tulis ni, aku nak ko tahu.
i adore your spirit, your happiness, your strength, your patients towards all the journey you've been through. Ya ALLAH, aku rasa Down bila MAK sakit. But when i see you that go through all those pain, i realize that ALLAH SWT planned was right. Yes, absolutely right. Because HE test those who can bear with it.. Pathma muda sama macam aku, plus dia seorang isteri dan ibu. Suppose dia menikmati kehidupan yang complete, membina keluarga bahagia. Tapi dia sakit, dia tak macam aku. Aku sihat, aku masih mampu tidor lena, boleh makan, boleh berjalan, boleh itu ini. Arghhh....see, if we think our problem is big, others is BIGGEST than us. ALLAHURABBI. Beringat dan Bersyukur lah june. Masa itu berjalan dan takkan mampu berpatah balik.

Dear Pathma, aku doakan semoga ko diberi HIDAYAH ALLAH, aku doakan ko kuat jalani kehidupan ko, aku doakan kesihatan ko semakin baik selepas ni. (who knows, m i r a c l e )
Semoga ko terus ceria as always, semoga ko happy dengan family and kawan-kawan ko. Semoga anak-anak ko sayang ko walau ape pon keadaan ko. Teruslah tersenyum sebab kita tak tahu, WHEN our "last"..... See you when i see you.

Rileks je smile. I love you Pathma. U teach me a LOT!!

26-May-2015;5.04pm/Tuesday/8Syaaban

June - looking for the POSITIVE AURA

Warded

22May2015; 11.52am

Dear Blog,

Pagi ni aku siapkan beg ringkas untuk MAK. Berita sedih untuk aku, bila senja semalam MAK call sendiri bagitahu dia kena admit ward hari ini due to her blood test result. Normal people know, if you have to warded because of blood test. Its simply mean something is NOT RIGHT there. ALLAHURABBI. Aku sedih. Kejahilan aku meluahkan dengan rasa sebu "WHY AGAIN?" Forgive me ALLAH. :'(

I HATE HOSPITAL...
Seriously, i hate! For me, hospital = death. Arwah wan aku, arwah Abah aku antaranya. hmmmm....
Tapi kat hospital antara tempat Malaikat-Malaikat berkumpul mengiringi pelawat dan pesakit. Tempat dimana most of them berdoa kepada ALLAH Yang Maha Pengasih untuk diberi peluang kedua. (including me. p a r a n o i d)

Abang aku hantar MAK pagi ni, aku cakap dengan MAK do not worries. i'll be there once i finished my work. Rezeki aku makan gaji, aku kena jaga juga periuk nasi. Tapi kalau perlu resign. i will do it. Eh, itu belakang cerita nanti. Now focus yang depan mata ni. Tak sabar nak tunggu petang. Nak mintak chow awal tapi segan.  huhuhu. Tadi MAK call, dia cakap kejap lagi dia dah nak start dialysis air tu. Sedih aku, sebab takda sape teman dia. What if dia nak makan nanti? Nak minum? Adoii...tak sampai hati lah. Moga ALLAH boleh jaga MAK. Please ALLAH, im begging you. =___= tsk tsk

Hari ni jugak aku message adik aku. Suruh datang tengok MAK. Hope kedatangan dia nanti make MAK happy. Harap-harap jugak result darah and dr review nanti everythings will be fine and OK. Tak larat laa nak nangis je. huhu 
:( eh, aku kena lah positif. Aku kan memang orang yang selalu positif dulu.. why not now. *pangmukasendiri*


Orang kuat selalu diuji, eceh!
ALLAH SWT Sentiasa bersama-sama dengan kita. Yakin Diri ok. :)